Blind Spots… can you see them?

Posted on October 22, 2012 by monyguru

“We fail to see what it is we do not see. And it’s those very things we do not see that cause intelligent people to do stupid things.”

Do you remember taking drivers education or as it is currently called drivers training?  In that class we were told to beware of blind spots when driving.  What is a blind spot?  It is an area in which our view is obstructed.  In driving it is typically the area to our left that is between what we see in our side mirror and what we see in our rear view mirror.  In our lives it is areas that we do not see (or recognize) that can endanger our achieving life goals.

I am still amazed at times when intelligent, confident, experienced people I know and respect make unwise decisions that derail or sidetrack their progress in life.  Now, we are not talking about an oversight mistake (like failing to post a check in the checkbook and then bouncing a check), but clearly poor choices in areas that they should know better.

My experience has shown that these “mistakes” are a result of blind spots in our lives.  Areas that we do not or cannot see in a clear manner, much like the area we were warned about in drivers training.

So how to we clarify our vision so we are aware of these blind spots?

  1. Acknowledge that we have these areas.
  2. Admit that we need help “seeing” what is going on in the blind spot.
  3. Accountability with someone who can see clearly, will speak words of wisdom / warning to us when they see something we cannot.

In the area of money, when we make decisions on spending inside a vacuum (without a plan or accountability) we are prone to excesses.  These can be excesses in extravagance or spending, or excesses in saving / hoarding or becoming miserly.  So, what dumb things have you done lately? Is there a decision you made that you now regret? Perhaps it is because you ignored one or more blind spot in your life.

One of the areas that trips up many parents is what they spend on their children (both young and adult children).  They will overspend on their kids, while ignoring their retirement plan, emergency savings, proper life and health insurance.  In the case of adult children, it typically involves a crisis in their kids life that the parent “feel” the need to solve even though the adult child made the decision that led to this crisis.  Yet the parent will bail out or rescues the family member from their own resources, thus robbing the adult child the ability to learn from their mistakes.  Why?  It is the parents blind spot.  If they had consulted with someone BEFORE the rescue they may have made a better or different decision.

Who do you consult with your major financial decisions?
Who do you know with the experience, wisdom and backbone to help you reach your goals?
When will you begin addressing the blind spots in your life?

We all have blind spots, but they can be mitigated with discipline and wisdom. Don’t let your bind spots derail you any longer.

There’s a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again—it leads straight to disaster.  Sure, those people appear to be having a good time, but all that laughter will end in heartbreak. – Proverbs 14:12-13

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5 vital steps to escape lifes ruts

Posted on December 28, 2011 by monyguru

Many people are in a rut and a rut is nothing but a grave – with both ends kicked out. – Vance Havner

We all have either been in a rut, are currently in a rut, or are headed for a rut.  The next few posts will discuss how to deal with these ruts, and practical steps to get us out.

This first post will list the 5 steps, and each subsequent post will examine each step.  These steps are applicable to any area of your life including:

> Fitness training
> Finances
> Relationships
> Eating & Nutrition
> Spiritual Growth

Escaping our Ruts. (Lessons from my life)

  1. Never wait until you’re at your wits’ end, before a much needed change in your course of action comes – because if you do, it will come more by force (no choice but to act), and not a conscious choice.
  2. Never commit to an untested ideal, commit only to paths that are likely to lead to progress and results.
  3. Always be prepared to change your ways rapidly and dramatically, if required.  Adaptability is the key, rigidity is the killer.
  4. Forget the past and don’t try to save a sinking ship; the faster you abandon it, the better.
  5. Cultivate a sense of suspiciousness towards yourself (feelings), your mind (ideas), and your actions.  Wipe out irrational behaviors and counterproductive patterns quickly and ruthlessly – show no mercy or leniency.

Shape your circumstances, don’t let them shape you.  Shape your ideas, but don’t let them shape you.  What you think about something is not as important as reality… the sooner you face it (reality) and deal with it the better off you are.

There’s a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again—it leads straight to ruin.
Sure, those people appear to be having a good time, but all that laughter will end in heartbreak.

Solomon in Proverbs 14:12-13

Dave

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New Years Resolutions ?

Posted on December 27, 2011 by monyguru

Resolutions are popular because everyone feels they could use a little improvement. – Marilu Henner

A New Year’s resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to one or more lasting personal goals, projects, or the reforming of a habit.

Could your life use some improvement in 2012?   YES, 99.9% of living, breathing humans would agree with this statement.

Some of the more popular goals are:

  1. Improve health (exercise more & better, eat less, drink less, stop smoking, etc.)
  2. Improve finances (get out of debt, begin saving, live on a budget, establish a financial plan)
  3. Improve career (get a better job, get additional education and/or training)
  4. Improve self (more organization, less stress, less TV time. read more books, etc.)
  5. Improve spiritually (begin attending church, read Bible daily, share my faith)

Can you really change yourself?   YES,  1 in 2 were confident they could,  but only 1 in 8 were successful in achieving there resolutions.  The odds may seem to be stacked against you, there are some traits those who were successful shared.

  1. Break the resolution (goal) into bite size increments.  If the resolution is to read more books, then break it down into how many books per year, and how much reading (time or pages) you will do every week.  Now you have 52 smaller weekly reading goals that will help you achieve your bigger goal.
  2. Share your resolution with others (accountability).  You resolve to improve your health by exercising 4 hours a week, eating healthier so you lose 2 lbs per month.  Find a friend, relative or neighbor who you can confide in about your resolution and who will help you work through the year long process.  A walking partner?  Someone to share healthy recipes with?  Someone to go grocery shopping with?
  3. Establish a game plan for achieving your resolution.  Specifically, how will you achieve your resolution?  if you resolve is to pay off (or down) your debts, how will you do this?  How much extra money will be diverted toward paying off these debts?  Where will the money come from?  Where are you today (assets vs. liabilities)?  The difference between achieving goals, and dreaming about achieving goals… making the tough choices every day.

Take some time to sit down and put in writing some goals for 2012.  THEN, follow the 3 steps above to put yourself on the path to improving your life in 2012.  Don’t worry if you fail to achieve every goal, the fact is that by establishing goals you are far ahead of most people who spend lots of time complaining about their lot in life… yet have no plan for changing.

Most people have good intentions, big dreams… yet most people fail to achieve these dreams.  The key to succeeding is not lack of failure (we all fail), but achievers get up (not give up) from failing,  set a new goal (learning from their failure) and press on.

Make 2012 the year that BIG changes were birthed in your life!

Dave

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5 Life lessons I learned from Scrabble ®

Posted on December 16, 2011 by monyguru

“The game has luck, no doubt about it, but it is up to the individual player to figure out how best to minimize the bad and maximize the good.“

Almost everyone has either played Scrabble, or watched someone play Scrabble.   As I pondered my slowly improving skill at playing the game it occurred to me that there are some life lessons we can learn from the game of Scrabble.

  1. Knowledge = Power – As in life, the more you know… be it facts, people, places, things, experiences, etc. the better prepared you will be to handle what life throws at you.  When I started, I would look at my letters and only “see” 3 or 4 letter words.  As my knowledge and experience at playing (and losing) grew, so did my ability to “see” bigger words hidden in my letters.  As we grow (physically, mentally, spiritually) in our lives we are more prepared to take the circumstances that come at us and make the best from them.
  2. Play off the words of others – One of the keys to winning at Scrabble is using the good letters others play, along with your letters to form better and higher scoring words.  In life, it always helps to spend time with others who are more successful, learn from them, work with them to increase your chances of “scoring” major victories in your life.   Trying to do it on your own, with only your resources will always result in you not achieving the score or success you could have achieved by teaming with others.
  3. Play the letters you have – Everyone in Scrabble has the same number of letters, you must make the most of what you have.  The letter exchange is rarely ever done by winners.  The game is not won or lost with what you have now, but the letters you draw over the entire course of the game.  Listen, we have times when we have nothing… yet you look for the best available play with what you have.  It is futile to wish you had something someone else has, just play the game (and live life) with what you have, and stop focusing on what you don’t have.
  4. Play defense – There are only 8 triple word score tiles.  A good Scrabble player never plays a word that would allow your opponent to play this tile off your word easily.  Sometimes your goal is to just use the spot so your opponent can’t.  In life, we sometimes need to jump at opportunities that offer themselves up, knowing the circumstances are not ideal.  In each of our lives we can look back at 3 – 5 forks in the road that determined our destination in life, it is important to get yourself out of your comfort zone and take a chance, before the opportunity is lost.
  5. Rewards require risk – If you want to win at Scrabble you will have to both be patient at times, and at other times go for it.  Sometimes to get the score you want you may have to lay down a word that someone may be able to play on, and gather some points.   Since you have no idea what letters they have, better to go for it, and take the chance, then to let your fear of what someone else “may” do stop you.  In my conversations with older clients, I have never heard someone tell me that they were glad having never pursued their dreams, or they are happy that they never took risks and played it safe their entire life.  NO, what I hear is that they wish they had gone for it more, not less.  Don’t make the mistake of always playing it safe.

If you have any other ideas, or lessons you can think of feel free to pass it on AND play more Scrabble!

Dave

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Do we really understand how blessed we are?

Posted on December 7, 2011 by monyguru

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy,
and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.  We often take for granted
the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”

Last night, I went to prison… with 20-25 other folks.

We went there to for with a Christmas dinner for the prisoners who showed up.  A family of Mennonites from Tennessee brought desserts, our group brought baked chicken, ham, stuffing w/gravy, vegetables, rolls and ice tea.  We served these men dinner, then sat down and ate with them.   They were thankful, they wished us Merry Christmas, they sang for us, they hugged us, prayed for us.

The stories these men tell, well that is for another time.  As my wife and I discussed the experience this morning we agreed that these men, who in most cases are getting what they deserve… showed more thankfulness for a meal (that you and I take for granted), for some time with others, no TV, no internet, just one on one face time than most people we know (including ourselves).

On the way to the prison, we bought a soda.  I gave it little thought until this morning, but am I grateful for the means to buy that soda, the transportation to get the soda, the freedom to get it where I want, when I want, and what kind I want. It may be a small thing but:

When did I begin to take my blessings for granted?

What did I do to be born in America in the 21st century?

We decided this morning, that we would not allow this season to pass without acting on these thoughts.  Christmas will be different this year.  Our Christmas fund (come on, as a financial guy we do have a budget for gifts) will be used primarily not for family but for some kids from the Angel Tree charity where we buy gifts for the child of a prisoner, and a couple missionary families we know.  Will our kids like this idea, probably not and that is unfortunate but they will get over it.

So what about you?  Who can you bless for Christmas?  What will you sacrifice to be a blessing?

My prayer is that this is the year that our family and yours truly understand that this time of year is not about receiving a blessing but about being a blessing to others.

Dave

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The 5 keys to leadership

Posted on December 5, 2011 by monyguru

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity.
Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a work crew, a football field, in an army, or in an office. 
Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.

It has been said that EVERYTHING rises and falls on leadership.  That means that little gets accomplished in a nation, community, business, family or in an individuals life apart from someone leading.  That leadership can take us in the wrong direction, or the right direction but it will take us in some direction.

In the context of money and finances leadership can make the difference between wealth & poverty, being in debt or being debt free.  The difference in most cases is someone (that includes me, myself & I) making a decision to lead rather than follow the crowd.  The majority of Americans (the crowd) live paycheck to paycheck and are 30 days away from being flat broke, and if you or I do what they do with their money we will end up just like them.  So a decision needs to be made, do I follow others (and end up where they are heading) or take a different course and become a leader for someone else to follow?

Lets examine some common characteristics of leaders, as relate it to our money and financial decisions.

INSIGHT – Another word for insight is vision, not just seeing the future but also insight for today.  Wisdom and discernment related to money management come from experience & knowledge.  We gain wisdom from both of our life instructors, Professors Successes and Professor Failures in the classroom of life.  They teach us to look at a situation, and develop a course of action that will aid us it reaching our goals as well as warn us of consequences if we ignore the basic rules of sound money management.

INITIATIVE – The primary difference between those that are broke and those that are not is the ability to change our behavior.  Those who succeed take the initiative to make positive changes in their life and begin to change the course of their financial future.  One simple change, begin to live BELOW what you earn and save the difference.  It may be difficult, it may require radical changes but doing the hard things is the difference between financially success & failure.

INFLUENCE – Did you know that the word influence comes from the same root word as influenza?  Leaders are contagious, people are drawn to their vision.  Do you have a clear vision of where you want to be financially?  Is it written?  Have you broken it down into simple steps that you can practice daily or weekly?  Communicate that vision to your spouse or family, clearly explaining the benefits that all will receive as you move toward your goal of financial independence.

IMPACT – Are you making a difference in the lives of others?  Leaders do.  Strive to shake things up, help people change as a result of your leadership.  Financially, you should lead by example.  That means you should be the first to sacrifice, before asking others… but everyone will be required to pitch in.  Leaders understand that they are not running a popularity contest.  If you are going to turn your ship away from the rocks of financial ruin, then you must grab the wheel and steer her in a different direction.  Ask yourself (when others are fighting your efforts), who’s life is being changed as a result of my leadership in this area?  Is your families financial future worth fighting for?

INTEGRITY – The quality of your impact as a leader will be in direct proportion to your integrity.  A leader must have the trust of followers (your family) and must display integrity.  Honest dealings, predictable reactions, well-controlled emotions, and an absence of tantrums and harsh outbursts are all signs of integrity.  It may take time for others to buy into your vision for financial freedom, but if they trust your intentions and believe you have their best interest at heart it will go a long way toward getting them to follow you in this area.

Make today the day you begin to lead your family down the road to financial freedom.  Let me know if I can help you in any way.

Dave

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10 tips from millionaires on how to be successful.

Posted on December 1, 2011 by monyguru

When Jesus warns us not to store up treasures on earth, it’s not just because wealth might be lost; it’s because wealth will always be lost. Either it leaves us while we live, or we leave it when we die. No exceptions….Realizing its value is temporary should radically affect our investment strategy…. According to Jesus, storing up earthly treasures isn’t simply wrong. It’s just plain stupid. – Randy Alcorn in The Treasure Principle

The best way to learn a skill, is to spend time learning from someone who has that skill.  So if I wanted to learn to cook, it makes sense that I spend time watching someone who cooks well, and that I learn to do what they do, and I practice this again and again.

So with that thought in mind, I have taken the lessons shared by five billionaires with Barbara Walters and reprinted in the November 28, 2011 Wall Street Journal as they shared their secrets to success.

  1. Figure out what you’re so passionate about that you’d be happy doing it for 10 years, even if you never made any money from it.  Begin doing that, even if it is part-time after your regular job or on weekends.
  2. Figure out what your values are and live by them, in business and in life.
  3. Rather than focus on work-life separation, focus on work-life integration.  Successful people enjoy what they do, and therefore do not see themselves “on the clock” and “off the clock”.  Their life’s work is their career.
  4. Don’t network.  Focus on building real relationships and friendships where the relationship itself is its own reward, instead of trying to get something out of the relationship to benefit your business or yourself.
  5. Get ready for rejection.  Successful people experience rejection like the rest of us, they learn from it and keep moving forward.
  6. Successful people do all the things unsuccessful people don’t want to do.
  7. Having goals is incredibly important.  See Goals
  8. Memories are better than material objects.  Anyone who has owned a $10,000 Rolex will tell you that a $39 Casio keeps better time.  So what are their priorities?  Memories and accomplishments.  This was especially true when it came to family.  Toys matter less than good times.
  9. Avoid becoming “cash rich” and “time poor.  Work is merely the process of exchanging your time for money.  Remember… What you do with your time is far more meaningful than the goods you accumulate with your money.  If you are working so much to become rich but you ignore your spouse and miss seeing your kids grow up, you are actually poorer than you realize.
  10. Success unshared is failure.  Give back — share your wealth.  Ask yourself “why” do I want to be successful?  How do I define success in my life?  What will it look like?  Who will I share it with?

Dave

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Are you sabotaging your own success?

Posted on November 17, 2011 by monyguru

I took my son to visit a college this past Saturday, and we had a good visit.  We were shown around the campus by students who are known as campus ambassadors, and during one stop toward the end of the visit we were asked if we had any questions.  I asked this student, “What one piece of advice she would share with these high school seniors, coming from someone who has been in their shoes and now is attending college.”

The advice was (in essence) “Begin to develop some disciplines in your life in regards to a schedule, study time, etc. because you will not have your parents around to remind (or nag) you to study or prepare.  It will be all up to you and if you do not do this (develop some disciplines) you will struggle once you get here because there will be so many other things and people vying for your attention.”

Why do so many people fight themselves when it comes to establishing disciplines in their life, be it financial, spiritual, physical… ?  When I ask my own children (ages 17, 20, & 27) this question they tell me that they are “spontaneous”, and fly by the seat of their pants, are more free and less structured than I am.

Of course, they remind me that they have done OK thus far without being particularly disciplined in their life.  DUH, you know why?  Because you have had a parent pushing, cajoling, encouraging, threatening, even nagging to make you do the things necessary to succeed thus far in your life.  The problem is when you leave your parents authority and are dependent on yourself… then you either make yourself (self-discipline) do the things necessary to succeed at a given task, class, or job OR become a slave of your desires and become an EPIC FAILURE.

Let me define epic failure; it is when you do not live up to your potential because you never learned to control your desires for your own good.  This is a form of self-sabotage because we all seek to be comfortable, so whenever we become uncomfortable (and ALL growth requires moving and existing outside our comfort zone) we will do what is necessary to get back to something that is comfortable.

Those who understand that COMFORT is not the ultimate goal, GROWTH is the ultimate goal accept the fact that we must embrace discomfort on a temporary basis until what was once uncomfortable becomes comfortable.

Illustration, tomorrow Brian, Rita, and I will run intervals at the gym.  The treadmill will be cranked up to a speed that is way beyond comfortable (6 minute mile pace), we will alternate between that pace and a 7 minute mile pace (1 minute on and one minute off).  We have been doing this for the past 5 weeks or so and although we still do not enjoy it, it is not as uncomfortable as it was when we started (it was miserable).  What has lessened the discomfort?  GROWTH.  Our aerobic capacity has grown over these weeks.

The same is true in every area of your life, growth requires pushing yourself or giving someone permission to push you to be all you can be (outside your comfortable zone into the “I don’t like this zone”).  The question is do you want comfort more than you want growth?

I have never met anyone who regrets having grown, but have met many who said they wished they had got up and done what needed to be done to succeed, however you describe success in your life.

For your life to get better… circumstances don’t need to change, others don’t need to change, YOU need to change.

“We are what we repeatedly do,
excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” — Aristotle

Dave

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Reaching your Goals

Posted on November 15, 2011 by monyguru

“Set your goals high, and don’t stop till they become a reality.” – Bo Jackson

So if you took the time to consider, and set some SMART goals, now we must put together a game plan to map out the means to reach those goals.

The first thing I recommend is to prioritize your goals in WRITING.  It is pretty difficult to achieve goals in every area of your life at the same time.  So it makes sense to place your goals in order of importance, and by time frame of the goal.  Obviously the short term goals are achieved first, and in many cases multiple short term goals are necessary to attain your longer term goals.

Once you have prioritized your goals, you must develop the written steps necessary to accomplish your goals.  Let me give you an example of what we are talking about to make this simpler.  I would ask yourself a series of questions to clarify the steps you need to accomplish.

Your goal is to get a better job.
Why?  Because you will never be able to provide for your family, and life the kind of life you desire with your current job.
Do you need more education for a better job?  Yes you do, at least an associate degree.
Community college or online school?  Based on your current work schedule it is impossible to attend classes, so online only option.
What schools offer online classes?  Locate the schools offering your classes and speak with them about costs.
How to pay for school?  Speak to college about financial aid.  How many classes are required per semester?

I could go on with the questions that need to be answered as you work through the goal setting, and achievement process.  After working through the questions that pertain to your goal, it is crucial that you run your plan by someone else to give you input/critique.  The word crucial is bold to emphasize the importance of this step.  There is much wisdom in having someone attempt to shoot holes in your plan, you want a bulletproof plan to reach your goals that has been looked at from every angle.

Break the plan into written, clear steps that can be worked on regularly and crossed out when they are completed.  At any moment you should know what step you are on, what steps you have already accomplished, and what the next step is.  No vagueness, only clear concise steps that take you to your goals.

This may seem like a lot of work… because it is.  Failing requires no work, no plan, no extra effort.  Success requires you to do what most people will not do, but in the end it is well worth it!  Find a mentor or accountability partner who will push you and go out there and do it.

Dave

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SMART goal setting

Posted on November 11, 2011 by monyguru

What is a GOAL?  It is the end toward which effort is directed, or the destination you want to reach.

A goal without a plan (the means) is just a wish.  If you want your wishes granted look for a genie in a magic lamp, ’cause that’s the only way you will get your wishes.

Albert Eistein said, ““You MUST learn the rules of the game. And then you MUST play better than anyone else.”  Whether in your finances, your relationships, or your family… learn what works, then practice doing it until it becomes a habit.  Only a stupid person continues to do something that does not work in hopes that eventually it will start working.  (An example, I see so many young ladies using their body to attract a guy then wonder why he is only interested in one thing.  DUH!  It may work, but it does not get the desired result… so stop it, it will never attract the right kind of guy.)

So what kind of goals should we set, well you start by setting SMART goals.

S – Specific (or Significant)
M- Measurable (or Meaningful)
A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented)
R – Relevant (or Rewarding)
T – Time-Bound (or Trackable)

Let me give you an example to evaluate.  “I want to be debt free.”

It is… Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant
It is not… Time-Bound (When do I want to be debt-free?)

A better goal would be, “I want to be debt free within 36 months with the exception of my mortgage.”

It is more specific (all except mortgage), and Measurable & Time-Bound (within 36 months).

Here are some more to give you a better understanding of how to use this to set better goals.

  • “I want to have a better family life.”  would become “I want to spend at least 5 hours each week doing things with my kids.”
  • “I want to work on my spiritual life.” would become “I want to spend at least 30 minutes a day talking to my Lord (prayer), and listening to the Lord (reading the word and meditating on it) every day.”
  • “I want to get a better job.” would become “I will update my resume’ and begin mailing it to companies that need someone with my skills.”
  • “I will go back to school” would become “I will enroll in school by the fall of 2012 with the goal of graduating with a bachelors degree in 8 years by taking 6 credit hours per semester.”

I believe you get the point.  As we approach the end of 2011 and the holidays let me encourage you to begin to think about and put in writing some goals for yourself.  Make this the FIRST day of the rest of your life, and commit that your future will be BETTER than your past.

Dave

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